There are two ways to deal with this break-up, this breakdown, this momentous shift in my life.
I can crumble in the face of the challenge or I can face this head on, based on the idea that the only way out of this is through.
In the past, I have always let hardships knock me down and have waited for someone, anyone, to pick me back up.
Getting through this in a healthy way is the key to the rest of my life. I know it from the depths of my soul. I can sense somewhere in my gut that this is the defining moment of my adult life.
And at exactly this time in my life I am no longer afraid of this challenge, instead I welcome it.
I could do without the pain, the sense of loss, knowing that she is hurting, too. I could live my entire life without ever feeling this shadow follow me around every day making me wonder if there was just something I could have done differently to make this all work.
What's done is done, however, and if I do not reinvent myself to purposefully create the rest of my life, then I will continue in the patterns that lead me to being entirely broken, which is what I am now.
It might be a lofty goal to call this post 'Reinvention, Guaranteed' but I have never been so determined in my life.
Jessie Valentine is the space for reinvention, for me to share this process with the world, to live out loud This is a way to be held accountable to my goal of having my inner thoughts mirror my outer actions, instead of living one way and secretly wishing it could be another.
Is there a slight hope that someone out there is listening? Sure...
Is there also a hope that someone might have gone through this and will share their own experience with me? Of course...
Is there an even bigger hope that by me putting it all out there that someone else might have the guts to make the first move? Absolutely!
If there is one lesson I have learned in this online world, it's that no matter how isolated I feel, the truth is, there are supportive wonderful people out there. No one ever has to feel alone. Online friends can help you through as much as others can face to face.
And that's a feeling that I really need right about now as I reinvent myself and step gracefully into being Jessie Valentine.
 |
| Right now, everything is numb, bleak and gray. |
In the past, I have always let hardships knock me down and have waited for someone, anyone, to pick me back up.
Getting through this in a healthy way is the key to the rest of my life. I know it from the depths of my soul. I can sense somewhere in my gut that this is the defining moment of my adult life.
And at exactly this time in my life I am no longer afraid of this challenge, instead I welcome it.
I could do without the pain, the sense of loss, knowing that she is hurting, too. I could live my entire life without ever feeling this shadow follow me around every day making me wonder if there was just something I could have done differently to make this all work.
What's done is done, however, and if I do not reinvent myself to purposefully create the rest of my life, then I will continue in the patterns that lead me to being entirely broken, which is what I am now.
It might be a lofty goal to call this post 'Reinvention, Guaranteed' but I have never been so determined in my life.
 |
| Fire in the belly. |
Is there a slight hope that someone out there is listening? Sure...
Is there also a hope that someone might have gone through this and will share their own experience with me? Of course...
Is there an even bigger hope that by me putting it all out there that someone else might have the guts to make the first move? Absolutely!
If there is one lesson I have learned in this online world, it's that no matter how isolated I feel, the truth is, there are supportive wonderful people out there. No one ever has to feel alone. Online friends can help you through as much as others can face to face.
And that's a feeling that I really need right about now as I reinvent myself and step gracefully into being Jessie Valentine.
No comments:
Post a Comment